dark night in the hospital Y-wing

i sit in the chair,
by your bedside,
in the hospital.

you are unmoving, except
for your right arm, which seems to have
developed a mind of its own and constantly
brushes some perceived weight from your chest.

i watch you and know in my heart,
that you aren't staying for much longer.
that soon you will leave in silence.

i cannot bring myself though to say good-bye,
my voice sounds strange inside this sterile room,
it is strained against my constricted chest.

you mumble words to me and i tell you i am here,
that i am watching over you till morning,
and i recall you doing the same for me when i was a child.

i cannot bring myself to say good-bye though, to tell you i will miss you,
to express the honor i feel in having grown up as your son.

i say nothing, for fear that my words will give you permission to go.
i am not ready yet, so i sit quietly in my chair,
watching over you.