the hole

i awoke a few weeks ago
and found a hole in myself.
strange.
it was small at first
no more than a day.

then two days past,
then a week,
now a month.

now when i look at myself
i see only the hole
surrounding, embracing me.

i have lost myself
in the sorrowful depth
of that darkened hole.

i now know how it started
and knew how it would end.
and i trace the edges of that hole
with my trembling fingers.

my mind wanders to a tree behind a hockey rink
to a time before the hole.